Bromance.
I saw this show on MTV the other day...and wow. I have to say, television has really reached it's zenith. The show is just pure genius. I mean, it's like The Bachelor (and all it's ripoffs), but with all guys! Okay so for those of you who aren't up to date on all that's hip and cool, I'll elaborate. The show is a spin-off of The Hills which is a spin-off of Laguna Beach - a dumbed down version of The OC. Well anyways, the premise of this show is that this guy needs a new best friend, or "bro". How will he accomplish this? Like any other celebrity ofcourse; through a series of challenges and test that will truly reveal a strangers personality and intentions, after which the celebrity in question will finally able to find a true and trustworthy friend with whom he can spend the rest of eternity with drinking beers and oggling chicks. Oh and don't forget, that friend's goals for being on the show is obviously neither fame nor fortune, but purely to find an everlasting "Bromance".
First and foremost, how do Brody's real friends feel? I wouldn't be too happy if suddenly one (out of my vast array) of friends just woke up one day and decided, "Hey, I don't really enjoy hanging out with you anymore so I think I'm going to find a new friend". Secondly, even the winner is still a loser. He will have obviously abandoned his own friends as well, not to mention that he'll be forever known as Brody's Bitch. Well okay he probably won't be known very much, as his fifteen minutes will run it's due course, and eventaully he's descend back into obscurity. He'll probably return back to his old life with his ego inflated, thinking he's the shit since he got to tag along a celebrity. He'll walk around, thinking (even a little bit) that his life has been somehow enriched through this meager experience. Little does he know, that celebrity will probably have a second season (as these shows always do), and the winner's name will mean nothing more than straight porn to Lance Bass. Lastly, there is that little Asian guy they have on the show. He's so stereotypically Asian: Glasses, short,scrawny, kind of nerdy and easily pushed around. You know that they're just keeping him around to keep the viewers guessing, and to demonstrate how anybody can have a chance. But really, we all know that little asian guy's screwed.
If you're channel surfing and you happen to come across this show, I highly suggest taking a peek - I'm sure it will change your life in many profound, and wonderful ways.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
More Things that Annoy Me (sick and out of it)
1.Crappy Stationary.
i)Sandy ass paper that make your writing all leady(yes i know that's not a word, but i'm sure you all know what I mean).
ii)Shitty ass lead that either breaks with the slightest pressure or they're so thick and it makes your writing all smudged and shit. (this might be the first time i can say that "all smudged and shit" is a better adjective...fail =D)
iii)Erasers that don't erase properly. You either end up smudging your paper or trying extra hard to erase and lo and behold, you've ripped your paper. Also, those erasers that claim they erase pen. Have you manufacturers actually tried it? No, they don't erase pen. Unless you count denting your paper and leaving a hole where the ink use to be erasing.
iv)Lead pencils that fall apart. The pencil clip breaks within the first few days. The grip begins to deteriorate at an abnormal pace. The lead pencil stops dispensing lead.
v)rulers that aren't accurate. OKay these things are a goddamn piece of metal/wood/plastic. The only thing separating this from a goddamn piece of metal/wood/plastic is the little tiny markings on it, which you would expect to be accurate. And yet, many rulers in the world have uneven divisions. How does that happen? The one little thing you have to do, you fuck up on.
I'm not a perfectionist. I just don't enjoy shit.
2.Magicians and Comedians who claim that for sure this "is not staged or set up and 100% real" or that they "did not make this shit up and it actually happened". Honestly? HONESTLY!?!? It totally crushes one's faith in humanity...=(
3.Spoof movies. Well it isn't so much annoying as i just don't care. I would hardly call piecing together a bunch of random scenes with quaint references a movie. And I swear. Half the audience who goes to see those movies goes for the obligatory hot girl they place in there; ie, male teens whose balls just dropped and haven't discovered any good porn sites yet.
4.Walking around your house for like five minutes and then realizing the thing you're looking for was in the place that you first started.
5.Going to do something, and end up getting distracted and forgetting what you originally planned. Oh wait that's procrastination.
6.Cordless phones. Why do these not have a keypad lock or something that prevents you from accidentally hanging up on someone on account of the fact that you're putting the goddamn phone on your shoulder.
7. Sales people in stores. It's like sharks smelling blood. The moment you walk in, they come up to you and stalk you down. Even when you've politely told them that you don't need any help, they stand there mindlessly as if you're too incompetent to ask when you do need assistance. I said i didn't need help, not, "wait there like a fucking manakin and stare creepily at me for an hour."
8.Electronics that shut down because you have "low battery". What use is that? No, see you shut down when you have no battery. That's like, if you were starving and you only had 20 dollars left and you say "oh i'm not going to eat because i have only a little bit money left". But who am i to tell how an electronic should act.
"Who the hell looked at a pineapple and thought it was a good idea to eat it" -Cyanide & Happiness, 01.28.2009
Man my writing skills have really gone to pieces. Must, Write, More.
1.Crappy Stationary.
i)Sandy ass paper that make your writing all leady(yes i know that's not a word, but i'm sure you all know what I mean).
ii)Shitty ass lead that either breaks with the slightest pressure or they're so thick and it makes your writing all smudged and shit. (this might be the first time i can say that "all smudged and shit" is a better adjective...fail =D)
iii)Erasers that don't erase properly. You either end up smudging your paper or trying extra hard to erase and lo and behold, you've ripped your paper. Also, those erasers that claim they erase pen. Have you manufacturers actually tried it? No, they don't erase pen. Unless you count denting your paper and leaving a hole where the ink use to be erasing.
iv)Lead pencils that fall apart. The pencil clip breaks within the first few days. The grip begins to deteriorate at an abnormal pace. The lead pencil stops dispensing lead.
v)rulers that aren't accurate. OKay these things are a goddamn piece of metal/wood/plastic. The only thing separating this from a goddamn piece of metal/wood/plastic is the little tiny markings on it, which you would expect to be accurate. And yet, many rulers in the world have uneven divisions. How does that happen? The one little thing you have to do, you fuck up on.
I'm not a perfectionist. I just don't enjoy shit.
2.Magicians and Comedians who claim that for sure this "is not staged or set up and 100% real" or that they "did not make this shit up and it actually happened". Honestly? HONESTLY!?!? It totally crushes one's faith in humanity...=(
3.Spoof movies. Well it isn't so much annoying as i just don't care. I would hardly call piecing together a bunch of random scenes with quaint references a movie. And I swear. Half the audience who goes to see those movies goes for the obligatory hot girl they place in there; ie, male teens whose balls just dropped and haven't discovered any good porn sites yet.
4.Walking around your house for like five minutes and then realizing the thing you're looking for was in the place that you first started.
5.Going to do something, and end up getting distracted and forgetting what you originally planned. Oh wait that's procrastination.
6.Cordless phones. Why do these not have a keypad lock or something that prevents you from accidentally hanging up on someone on account of the fact that you're putting the goddamn phone on your shoulder.
7. Sales people in stores. It's like sharks smelling blood. The moment you walk in, they come up to you and stalk you down. Even when you've politely told them that you don't need any help, they stand there mindlessly as if you're too incompetent to ask when you do need assistance. I said i didn't need help, not, "wait there like a fucking manakin and stare creepily at me for an hour."
8.Electronics that shut down because you have "low battery". What use is that? No, see you shut down when you have no battery. That's like, if you were starving and you only had 20 dollars left and you say "oh i'm not going to eat because i have only a little bit money left". But who am i to tell how an electronic should act.
"Who the hell looked at a pineapple and thought it was a good idea to eat it" -Cyanide & Happiness, 01.28.2009
Man my writing skills have really gone to pieces. Must, Write, More.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Okay so so far there hasn't been anything funny...but i swear the blogs'll pick up. hopefully. and if not, i could always start posting guides about measuring stuff.
meanwhile, here's a a little something about something very special to me:
Oh showerhead. How i love you so
with your three water settings of painful, mildly painful, and pansy
yes, i'll admit it, i'm a pansy type of person.
the painful is just too, well painful.
besides, when you want to wash down there, it's quite unpleasant;
kind of like sand paper. but i'm getting off topic
Why do i not use mildy painful? because,
mildly painful is for indecisive faggots.
i'm sorry that was uncalled for. what was i talking about again? oh right
anyways, i especially love how stiff you are.
Unlike other showerheads i've used, whom
don't stay on the fucking hook thing. and when
you raise it, they fall back down like an old person
with erectcile disfunction. I love vaginas.
Lastly, i must commend you on your foresight.
you know just when some asshole has flushed the toilet
or turned on the sink, and you let me know
with your shrill whistling, that i'm about
to get burned like a motha fucka (i know im' not gangster.)
You give me just the right amount of time for me
to hop away before i am scorched, charred, seared, burnt, singed, branded, cauterized, blistered, scalded, parched.
and for that, I thank you.
Soporific. (i'm not grammatically retarded, I swear)
meanwhile, here's a a little something about something very special to me:
Oh showerhead. How i love you so
with your three water settings of painful, mildly painful, and pansy
yes, i'll admit it, i'm a pansy type of person.
the painful is just too, well painful.
besides, when you want to wash down there, it's quite unpleasant;
kind of like sand paper. but i'm getting off topic
Why do i not use mildy painful? because,
mildly painful is for indecisive faggots.
i'm sorry that was uncalled for. what was i talking about again? oh right
anyways, i especially love how stiff you are.
Unlike other showerheads i've used, whom
don't stay on the fucking hook thing. and when
you raise it, they fall back down like an old person
with erectcile disfunction. I love vaginas.
Lastly, i must commend you on your foresight.
you know just when some asshole has flushed the toilet
or turned on the sink, and you let me know
with your shrill whistling, that i'm about
to get burned like a motha fucka (i know im' not gangster.)
You give me just the right amount of time for me
to hop away before i am scorched, charred, seared, burnt, singed, branded, cauterized, blistered, scalded, parched.
and for that, I thank you.
Soporific. (i'm not grammatically retarded, I swear)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
lesson of the day: mephitic is spelt with two i's
why is there even an option to "watch in high quality" on youtube?
who would willingly chose to watch in normal quality?
who would willingly chose to watch in normal quality?
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